I am feed up

I am bored. I think it is enough, i want to scream, ARGHHH!!!
Dont put all of this on me alone.
You know? I need to rest!!

Please, we have our own role

Hell weeks, to the end of semester

I always think that all my semester filled with tight schedule. I am used to think that I never been this busy. It happens in all my semesters, and in this peak semester I think that may be it is just my imagination, those busy schedule.

But, that hypothesis is broken again. I experienced a more d*mn weeks recently. And unfortunately, I am not in my best condition. More deadline is coming after each other, more sophisticated assignment is coming endlessly, and I can only do.
I have predicted these, but I am still not ready.

It indicates I am walking in a new stages. Every semester is designed with it's own business, and with it's own difficulties. I have passed that difficulties, and now I am reached to the new stage, and I am expected to passed this new stage's obstacle once more, with elegant ending certainly.

So, there are some lessons I get,
first, don't take much credit if you don't have good time management
second, it is a choice between happy semester and full-bleed semester
third, keep looking forward although your way forward is vague

Lastly, I think I don't really give a useful information to you, readers.
I am sorry, but try to get some lessons from my experience

Arti Hidup

Saya suka artikel ini http://agama.kompasiana.com/2010/10/13/tiada-tuhan/

Anyway, setelah mengalami beberapa event yang sebenarnya biasa saja, saya sekarang menjadi lebih sering bertanya-tanya mengenai arti hidup. Menjadi sering bertanya-tanya kenapa.
Kenapa ini, kenapa itu.

Salah satu hal yang mentrigger saya untuk bertanya-tanya adalah ketika saya dengan tidak sengaja menonton acara wawancara dengan Aa Gym di TvOne.
Di acara tersebut, Aa Gym berulang kali, baik secara eksplisit, maupun implisit menyatakan, 'apa sebenarnya yang kita kejar dalam hidup?'

Hal itu membuat saya merenung. Apa sebenarnya tujuan saya hidup di dunia ini?
Ya, saya tahu kalau manusia hidup untuk beribadah. Namun kebanyakan dari kegiatan ibadah saya hanya berbentuk ritual, belum masuk ke dalam hati. Sehingga renungan ini mengajak saya beribadah secara lebih ruhiyah.

Kembali ke pertanyaan tersebut.
Pertanyaan mengenai arti hidup. Mungkin bisa dicontohkan sebagai berikut.

tanya: Apa sebenarnya tujuan kita kuliah?
jawab: Mencari gelar.
tanya: Untuk Apa gelar?
jawab: Untuk memudahkan dalam mencari pekerjaan.
tanya: Untuk apa pekerjaan?
jawab: Untuk bisa mendapatkan uang
tanya: untuk apa uang?
jawab: makan, punya tempat tinggal, pokoknya agar bisa bertahan hidup.
tanya: untuk apa hidup?

Nah loh.
Pertanyaan rekursif tersebut lah yang akhirnya akan membawa ke pertanyaan yang paling membingungkan.
Mungkin banyak di antara kita yang sering bertanya, sering mengandai-andai, mengenai pertanyaan:
Untuk apa sebenarnya semua kerja keras ini? untuk apa sebenarnya semua lelah ini? kebahagiaan ini? Kesedihan ini?
Hm... renungkanlah. Kita memang terjebak dalam sistem yang maya,
mengejar sesuatu yang maya, dan bingung mengenai tujuan hidup kita sebenarnya.

Renungkanlah

Hoping for the best

I have just done my gemastik qualification phase. And it didn't run well. The most thing I regret is that I dont know what mistakes I have made. Everything seemed well in my excel document, but it didnt do same in the server system.

Well, reader, I just feel upset because things didnt go well as i planned. Although there is still chance I will go to final with my friend, but that chance seems so unpredictable. Therefore, I am just hoping for the best and praying well, I hope we can be fasilkom representative for this business game competition.

10 things that always happen in s*itnetron

Saya sebernya pengen nulis fenomena 10 hal yang wajib terjadi di s*itnetron indonesia. tapi belum kepikiran sampai 10, jadi tulis seadanya. Sisanya nyusul, mikir sambil jalan. Hehehe...
Kenapa harus 10?
ya, biar bagus aja si..., biar keren gitu. Kalo 7, 6, kan kurang enak, ga 'genep' istilahnya.

So, here things are...
1. amnesia
Hahaha... s*itnetron di Indonesia emang lagi mentok2nya ide. kalo para pembaca memperhatikan dan mencatat, kayaknya banyak s*itnetron di indonesia yang membuat skenario amnesia. sungguh sangat typical!
Yang terkahir dan terbaru mungkin s*itnetron 'cinta fitri'. Dan saya sungguh sangat heran, dengan skenario yang sama tersebut, penikmat televisi indonesia masih dengan gemar menontonnya.
Mengapa harus amnesia? Sering kali saya bertanya-tanya. Dan semudahkah itu amnesia terjadi? Saya jadi pengen nyari artikel tentang amnesia yang ilmiah buat memastikan adegan dan skenario amnesia di s*itnetron sangat tidak masuk akal.

2. Tabrakan
Yang kedua nih, kayaknya hampir di semua s*itnetron. Mau tabrakan mobil, motor, sepeda, poko'nya sama aja. Sebenarnya perbendaharaan s*itnetron saya agak kurang, jadi saya tidak bisa menyebutkan judul-judul s*itnetron yang punya adegan tabrakan.
Yang jelas, secara sekilas, kalau saya dengan sengaja dan tidak sengaja nonton s*itnetron, saya sering menyaksikan adegan tersebut.
Dan mungkin bisa dibilang selalu sama. Ada cowo menabrak cewe. Dan akhirnya jadian. Atau ada tokoh protagonis yang sedang memberantas kejahatan yang kemudian ditabrak oleh lawannya biar tidak menghalangi rencana si antagonis buat menguasai dunia.

3. Penyakitan
Ini skenario yang ceritanya ingin membuat sedih penonton.
Nanti di cerita si tokoh utama atau temennya, pokoknya orang yang baik, punya penyakit yang mematikan. Penyakit-penyakit yang digemari antara lain leukimia, kanker, jantungan, dsb. Saya sih ga keberatan kalo natural. Tapi kebanyakan skenarionya sungguh sangat dibuat-buat.
Ayolah yang kreatif. Sekali-kali kena ambeien kek, encok kek, atau panu yang akut yang membahayakan jiwa penderita.

Intinya, s*itnetron sekarang tidak mendarat di bumi, ceritanya sangat lebay dan tidak natural.
Sekali lagi, ayolah, bikin yang bermutu, bikin yang berilmu.
Siapa bilang genre seperti itu tak laku?
Contohlah PPT, karya gemilang Deddy Mizwar. Ceritanya natural, and it happens in real life
Buat 7 hal selanjutnya, akan dibeberkan di waktu lain

(saya membedakan tontonan itu jadi dua istilah, s*itnetron dan sinetron)

Shaum 2010

This was second day of ramadhan, and this day I was in my internship place, lintasarta office due to my appointment. Actually I planned to spend my ramadhan in my hometown, because i want to do shaum peacefully and i want to be better in this ramadhan. But reality didnot work as we want. I still stucked with my internship assignment and hadn't done with my report. I has schedule next week, due to my enrollment in gemastik, I was doing some sort of IT contest, business game specifically.

So, because of those, I was forced to stay in depok longer. I realized that this is the longest time I spend my life in depok, the longest time I did not come back to my hometown. Fortunately, My faculty give extension to the next semester starting day. Normally, the next semester starts in 30th august, but student of computer science (except for the new students) starts the new semester in 22th september. So that I can spend my holiday longer, and come home for idul fitri earlier than the others.

But! I just realized that I registered my self to be an assistant of certain course. Argh! I just did it, and realized that it may prevent me to come back home in early septembers. Oh God! I want to be assistant, but I want come home too! What should I do? Part of my heart hope that I wont be accepted as assistant. Oh, I hope things will run well...

Dilarang Parkir Sampai Rambu Berikut

Wahai para warga negara Indonesia, tidaklah kalian memperhatikan keanehan yang terjadi di sekitar jalan kita? Saya sedikit tergelitik untuk menulis setelah lama bertanya-tanya mengenai keanehan rambu dilarang parkir yang tertancap di sepanjang jalan besar.

Ketika saya sedang berangkat kerja praktek, saya memperhatikan kalau angkot tidak berhenti di setiap pinggir jalan karena ada rambu dilarang parkir (karena ada polisi juga sih). Karena hal itu saya lama memperhatikan dan mengamati rambu tersebut.
Di rambu tersebut tergambarkan simbol P dicoret (dilarang parkir) dengan tulisan di bawahnya "sampai rambu berikut".

Hm? Ada yang aneh? Mungkin sekilas tidak. Tapi, sepanjang perjalanan, karena saya penasaran, saya mencari lagi rambu serupa untuk memastikan di mana sebenarnya kendaraan diperbolehkan parkir. Tak lama berselang saya menemukan rambu serupa persis dengan tulisan yang sama, "dilarang parkir sampai rambu berikut".

Loh? saya jadi bertanya2, kapan sebenarnya kita diperbolehkan parkir? karena setelah rambu pertama dengan instruksi untuk memperhatikan rambu berikutnya, rambu berikutnya pun memberikan instruksi untuk melihat rambu selanjutnya. Kapan bolehnya dong?

Hahaha, saya sedikit tertawa. Namun saya juga melihat sudut pandang lain kenapa terdapat instruksi tersebut. Mungkin maksudnya adalah untuk memberikan rambu bagi kendaraan yang datang dari arah sebaliknya. Namun, konstruktif dengan pernyataan sebelumnya, kendaraan tersebut pun akan mengalami jebakan larangan tak terbatas. lagipula hal itu jadi tak berfungsi untuk jalanan satu arah.

Kelihatannya ini memang masalah sederhana, tapi cukup membuat bertanya-tanya. Menurut saya seharusnya rambu-rambu tersebut dibuat dua arah dan dua jenis dengan instruksi yang berbeda, untuk mempermudah pembacaan bagi orang asing.

Anyway, kalau di html, hal tersebut melanggar prinsip xml karena tidak ada 'end tag' untuk melengkapi tag sebelumnya. Pasti ada peringatan kalo pake firebug. Hehehehe

Be Patient and Ikhlas

I have a bad day this week. Its begin in the saturday morning, i suddenly found may laptop dissappear under my nose! Yes, i lost my laptop, and all my hardwork. Its so amazing so that I feel like my half-life taken.
It happened when I fell asleep in the morning, (this is not good habit), after I did morning pray (sholat), i felt like i want to sleep again but i also want to work my assigment using my laptop. but finally i decided to sleep again. in that time, my laptop obviously still existed next to my bed. But when I woke up at 8.00 o'clock, i didnt see my laptop. Argh!! I felt so confused but i still didnt realize that my laptop was stolen.
I helplessly looking in every inch of my room, hoping that i mistakenly put it in somewhere else, but deep in mind i was sure that i put it there. After a couple of minutes, i realized that there was no hope, my laptop clearly dissappeared, and i do very clearly realize that my 2 months hard work also gone with my beloved gadget.
I suddenly felt sad deeply, but i could control my emotion so that i didnt overreact, or crying. I was just calmly very sad.
Now, it had been a days after the accident. Honestly I still felt sad, sorry, and empty. But i know it wont help me solve this problem. I have to face it, i have to accept it. It is time to solve this problem. I have my internship assigment that actually i had finished it well in two months, that i have to submit it next week. But, its already gone. I have to collect all my spirit so that I could focus redo it again. redo my two months hard work so that i could finish it in a week. Thanks for all my friend that trying to cheer me up. I hope i can pass this problem peacefully. I am sorry for parents, my mother and father. I didnt treasure your gift well. I am sorry I failed not to make you sad. I promise to finish my study well so that i could present you vip seats.

In the end, for all reader, there are lesson we can get
1st, dont forget to lock your door when you're sleeping
2nd, dont sleep after morning praying, (it is hard for me, but i should try my best)
3rd, losing something is really hard, but it is better to be patient, because panic wont help us at all

I think Allah give me this lesson because I was to arrogant and not thankfull, i should learn to be more ikhlas, i hope Allah forgive my sins and I hope things will still going well..

Iron Man's 2 Movie

I have watched that movie and it is not as good as the first one. I enjoy the animation and robot fighting things but the story do not give a thrill at all.

I dont say the movie is bad, but it is below my expectation-for the story. The story is predicted, i dont feel afraid the protagonist will fall down. It is like child's movie, always happy ending. The worst part is the end of the movie. When i saw it, i said "just it?"
The last enemy was no more than a mere junk robot. One blast attack and died.

But, because i am just looking for the animaction, I feel satisfied enough

Are you stupid?

The title does not represent the content of this note. I actually want to discuss about the differences between people that 'known' or 'considered' as a smart person and people 'considered' not smart person.

This is always become a question for myself. Is that actually 'smartness' is a gift? or It can be achieved by hard work? May be it is also a mystery for you that has spent many years experienced in the same class with people considered 'genius' or 'moron'.

So, before I explain my own theory, I want to differ person from smartness point.

1. really smart
is a smart person that consider him/herself as smart person and known as a smart person by society. Usually this person has many achievement and won many events or competition. He/she also good at academic skills and always happened to be the top rank in your school/class.

2. happened to be smart
is considered smart by his/her friends but not sure about his/herself. Usually person that has good academic skill but do not have another achievement, or has not won any single competition, and sometimes do not have particular skill.

3. average person
Is person that happily run his/her life without worrying his/her achievement to much. They do not have problem in their academic but also do not have particular achievement.

4. not smart person
Person that considered him/herself as not smart person because couldn't do anything well justified by society.

That's my description and no need to debate it because it is only a not important person's opinion.

So, here is the confuse about the description of smartness. I do always wonder 'what person is actually smart' and 'what make him/her smart?' In my theory, there is no person who are smart or not smart. Everybody has the same brain and it has averagely same potential. Smart and not smart is only a title given by society or surroundings based on some parameter. One of the parameter that is usually used by society is 'an academic record' parameter.

Smart and not smart is only seen by his 'hundred or not hundred mark' record. It is not an absolute parameter. We are often annoyed by this one. Because having good academic record doesn't indicate having appropriate skill. Another parameter is about his/her skill. Person is considered smart because he/she often easily solved the problem using his/her skill. For example, maybe he advanced in programming and he often taught the other else that haven't understand programming.
So, I conclude that smart is about mark and skill.

Okay, now we assume that we accept those parameter. So, the next question is, 'what makes people have an excellent mark in their academic record and another people don't?' and 'what makes people can do something great and another couldn't?
From the academic point, It is determined by the capability to solve the exam. From the skill point, it is determined by the understanding of a thing. And both of them is only matter or understanding and knowing. It is one conclusion that person can be smart or can not because they have or have not understand and known about a matter.

So, there are not exactly exist a smart person and not smart person in the world. There are just exist a person that has understand and person that hasn't understand.
'Just it?'
'No'

I am still not sure because It lead to another question.
'what makes people could understand faster than the others?'
Nah, we almost arrived to theory that smartness is a gift. How people understand and how fast the understanding process is determined by his/her brain capability. So, I can say that it can't be changed, It has been a destiny, this is that makes people different from the start and may be to the end.
'Do you agree?'
'I am not'
Because it just a matter of time, understanding is just about time. No problem if they could understand faster because when we reach in the same understanding, there are no difference. The problem is we have to be able understand in a reasonable time.
So we don't have to worry about this smartness anymore, we just have to study harder, learn harder, to catch up with the genius one. When we arrived at that matter, we will be same.

It is almost the end of my explanation. But my friend ever said that what makes the a person really smart is the concentration capability, how long and how deep he can concentrate. Hmm, personally I agreed with that. If I relate this theory to the previous explanation, higher concentration will affect in faster understanding. Yup, for you that have problem in understanding, just try to concentrate more, I think it will worked.

In the end, we can assume that smartness is not a gift anymore, we can train it. Moreover, those smartness is just judged from society point of view. If we want to be smart, just believe that we are smart. :D

It is 2010

yeah, though i can't keep my promise, i wont make it longer since the last update.
it is 2010. and now it almost the end of January, long enough from the last post.

Why i dont just write? i also think about it.
there so much thing in my mind, and i cant simply write it
so much reasons too, that makes me hard to make a note
maybe I could say "this is my weblog, and i am free to write anything,"
but still, I couldn't find the meaning of all my writing. So, it will be a 'no good for nothing' if i try to do 'whatever-writing'. Therefore i will try to post a useful note this time.

hmm, there is something psychological problem I learn about in this holiday.
I learn that a problem is tend to be relative-subjective, it depend on how you see it, where you see it.
Although, I may have already know that relativity, people may already realize it, but this time, I experienced it more.

so, from that relativity principle, we can't judge something just from our side, we have to see it from their point of view, even though it is tiring, because there is no person in the world could have same absolute understanding. But at least we try, we try to feel it. It is a way we can solve problem less painful, especially for love-problem.

Everyone has known that the most relative problem is problem that related to feeling, heart, love, sad, relationship, and the other lovey-dovey problem.
Especially love. Love is kind of strange toxic that infect us, make us feel wonderful, yet it may cause an indescriptivable pain. But, it is subjective, like i said before. Other can laugh of it, but another may collapse of it. maybe this time they are suffering, but someday they will see it as a trivial case. Such a relative problem, from subject, time, and situation.

In general, we can't understand each other well. it is my principal. when a person said "i understand you" or "i know what you feel", i will say "it's bullsh*t".
You don't know what I feel. you don't know what I think.
So, instead of saying that, better you keep silent, and give your emphatic in another manner.

people who have a problem is looking for person that they can share. they need to be listened, not to be lectured. it is something that sometimes people forget.
so, you need no confuse when found your friend suddenly cries in front of you. You no need think what word you better say. dont confuse of it, just keep calm, look at him/her and say "i hear you".